Lay Misty For Me (Cullen & Big Paul) by Mark Farrer

Author:Mark Farrer [Farrer, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Funny Business Press
Published: 2020-12-04T05:00:00+00:00

“Right. We all set?” Jakki asked, as they sat once again in the layby outside Baxter Farms.

“Yup.” Paul waggled her phone in one meaty hand. “Camera, ready!”

“Lay?”

“Yes, I’m ready.” Elaine said quietly, the immediate prospect of revisiting the inside of one of these hellholes suddenly crashing down on her.

“You okay?” Jakki put a gentle hand on her partners shoulder, her face clouded with concern.

“I guess. It’s just… well, I know what these places are like inside. It’s not going to be nice.”

“I know, Lay. But that’s why we’re here. We go in, take some video, release it online. Voila! Public outrage, news headlines. No more mistreated chickens!”

“Aw, how bad can it be?” Paul said. “I mean, they’re gonna die anyway, aren’t they? When they’ve laid all their eggs ’n’ that.”

“Oh, you’re all concern, aren’t you? Typical man!” Jakki stormed. “Does animal welfare mean nothing to you?”

“Well I look after my dogs! I’m concerned about their welfare.” Paul replied, feathers slightly ruffled. “But that lot are going to get eaten at the end of the day. Can’t really bring myself to give a toss about some hens in a shed. I mean, maybe laying eggs hurts. It’s like childbirth, innit? Maybe they’d rather be dead.”

“What nonsense!” Jakki tried to shake his words from her head. “Come on, Lay. Let’s do this.”

When they reached the door of the second shed along, Jakki wielded her keypad device. “Here we go! Open Sesame!” She held it up next to the keypad and waited for some sound or something to happen. When nothing did, she tried the door handle. Nothing.

“Hmm. Are you supposed to key in a code or something?” Elaine frowned.

“Well, that would kind of defeat the point of it wouldn’t it? It’s supposed to open this without me knowing the code.”

“What do the instructions say?”

“I didn’t bring them with me. But the advert online just implied you hold it next to the pad and then voila!”

“Can I try?” Paul asked. Jakki handed him the device and moved away from the door to let him near. Paul waved it around the keypad and placed it on all sides, all the while bending his head next to the panel, listening intently. After a minute or so he straightened up and inspected the device. Hefting it in his hand he flipped it over. frowning, and then opened the back cover.

“Here’s your problem.” He said, waving the empty battery compartment at Jakki.

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